Saturday, August 1, 2015

atleast u care

ntahla. sebenarnya memang boleh rasa kedinginan itu.
cuma hati ini yang degil.
mengharap dan yakin. pada yang tak sudi mungkin.

bila aku jatuh sayang,
aku akan jadi manusia paling annoying pada orang yang aku sayang.
suka nak buruk sangka. suka nak jeles tak tentu pasal.
ntah. aku akan cuba. untuk. berubah. untuk dia.

bila aku mula sentap dengan perlakuan dia. padahal aku tak faham dia
berulang kali dia kata dia sibuk.
tapi. aku tak faham.


ku menunggu, kamu.
ku menanti, kamu saja.
yang terindah, dari dia.
yang tercipta, dari dia.

Friday, July 24, 2015


i was a judging person.
by means of judging, i really judge a person.
on every single details.

for me, i x boleh nak pergi dengan orang yang sebaya.
orang sebaya ni selalu tak leh nak control i.
i was super duper annoying person actually.
i tak penyabar. i suka buruk sangka. i emo. i kuat marah. i pendesak.
then, i tau only the matured person which for me the old one (maybe 5 years older than me) can handle myself.
thats why i like to be friend with my senior and more close with them.

things got worse bila i judge the person appearance.
i tak boleh pergi dengan orang yang stylish, yang care about their appearance. for me, a man should be simple. how can you wear a jacket or cardigan in this hot environment?
i tak boleh pergi jugak dengan someone yang suka hiburan. by means hiburan bukanlah kate i tak berhibur. suka for me is you suka giler kat artis. you asik la nak nyanyi. asik la nak join competition sana sini yang melibatkan hiburan. i just cant.

i also become judgemental on the relationship built using social media. how can a person fall in love by meeting in social media? what? are you kidding me? for me, love grows when you see them lively, spending time together.

the other things is, the unlogic things, i dont like engineer. its not that i dont like the job, but my friend always said,they want to marry an engineer for a better life. i easily get annoyed with that statement as for me do every man have to be engineer?

and for now, i fall in love. with a person. who got all the personalities i dont like and i judge as above. haha. thus. maybe this is a lesson allah give me. dont judge. you never know what allah prepared for you for the future.

awak. it was a blessed and lesson for me to meet you. you are younger. stylish. suka nyanyi. found u in social media. an engineer to be.but the main things is, u can handle me. handle my behaviour. who are you awak? how did you change my life without doing anything? tak pernah saya cuba untuk paham orang sampai macam ni sekali.

sincere for my own heart,


life change

to be honest, i was too lonely now.
got so much work to do, but dont have the mood to do.
life seems difficult.
the difficulties that create by my ownself.
sometimes, i dont even know what i want.
just feeling too lonely.

its been many years i didnt write here.
my life completely change.
further study in new environment.but still didnt finish it.
have to do any job to support life.
doing business.
my mom passed away.
got cheat by boyfriend.
break up after 5 years.
meeting someone else younger.
and many more....

life change so much. so much that i can even tell it one by one.
but i'm still like this.
still looking for the future.
an unsure future.

life change. yeah life change.

hopefully, after been so many years, there is no reader anymore for this blog.